like all others ive attempted... is slowly dying.
its technically sunday, my room is really fucking hot, and ive found myself dwelling on a whole lot of nothing: reading old emails, looking through peoples' facebook friends, starting little tirades in my head that im never conscious enough to finish. i havent written anything in a very long time. that refers to both recreational and bloggish writing, mostly out of apathy.
come on. anyone reading this knows i have little better to do with my life.
i learned how to tie a 4-in-hand not from an online video. so that was pretty awesome. and i honestly cant think of anything else to say. i dont want to go to sleep just yet. i dont want to do much of anything.
have you ever wondered if there was some way to live without sleep in some sort of semiconscious haze where nothing gets accomplished but you always feel like youll have enough time? i called that my freshman year of high school, and thats one of the things i most miss about it. something im only partially feeling now, staring at a computer screen typing up some random shit.
did you ever sacrifice anything because of your moral compass before you really knew about the world? in all of my memories of childhood, i seem like a selfish little prick who didnt see a need to apologize for stealing or breaking rules unless it was just to evade gettin my ass beat. i suppose it makes sense. we always praise kids when they act selflessly. im sure its because they dont do it very often. you dont have to answer that one.
are you someone's favorite person? ill admit i stole this from a little independent video i saw online. but my immediate reaction was... yes of course. but when im really honest with myself, im probably not. im most certainly not. plenty of people enjoy my company. plenty of people hate my guts. but i cant think of a single person who would stand up and say theres no person id rather spend all my time with than this guy. oddly enough. that makes me feel comfortable. maybe its the lowered expectations or maybe its the simple insignificance the question shines on my life. i dont know.
i cannot for the life of me finish things. so ill leave this open...
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1 comment:
i don't think i should say anything about this blog. sorry i wasn't there... i think that sorry was a little odd and out of place and event and crab. i read, heard but i don't know i should say what i think about what you expressed or tried not to, i do tend to get too presumptious as people say. so i will spare you the headache. :)
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